How can you be her knight? Why does a woman light up when you compliment her or see something in her others miss? Why are women are so eager and so responsive to this kind of attention and validation?
I can’t tell you exactly why women yearn to be seen, unveiled and deeply known, that’s part of the feminine mystery, but I can tell you that it’s how we are. Painters, photographers and sculptors have always known this about women. We seek illumination—to be seen and loved in the eyes of others.
The visual artist uncovers what others tend to overlook, unveils what has never been unveiled –and this is what makes a woman come alive in his presence and under his gaze.
You don’t have to be an artist to light a woman up in this same way. If you can see beauty beyond a means to an end, and look more deeply at a woman’s feminine complexities, you too can reflect something to her that will crack her open and intensify her desire for you.
If you think about the women you’ve known and loved, at some point I imagine each of them asked you to be specific about what you saw in them. If they didn’t ask for it, you saw it in their eyes. “What do you see as beautiful about me,” they may have asked? These were moments when that woman wanted confirmation that what you saw in her was specific and real, for her.
The desire to be seen never ends with women. It’s there every day; just as a you need nourishment or sex ongoing, a woman wants a dose of that seeing that energizes her and reminds her that she’s loved and appreciated. Think about what your partner would most want reflected to her, if she could magically get you to say that perfect thing. Is it something about her physicality, her heart, her femininity or her gifts?
If you don’t know what she might want to hear from you, ask her: “If I could say anything to you right now that would light you up and make you feel amazing about yourself, what would that be?” Take this to heart and say it back to her.
If your ears are open and you’re curious to know how to mirror a woman in a way that makes her feel amazing, she’ll tell you (in her own way) exactly what you need to say. Your challenge is to simply tune in, and then say it.