Sometimes it’s a real struggle to get my clients to see the necessity and importance of boundaries.
Many of them have been brainwashed to believe that giving and sacrificing equals being a good partner and a good man. They don’t believe that setting limits or saying “no” can, or will, lead to good things, or to more sex.
So, rather than safeguard their time, space and preferences in a relationship by expressing boundaries, they allow their partners to transgress all of it, without limits.
It might seem that being uber flexible, and sacrificing what you need, makes you more desirable, and a nicer guy. But instead, it demonstrates that you can’t be trusted to honor what matters most.
If you don’t respect your space and time, and your own preferences, how can you respect hers?
How can you take care of what’s important, if you don’t take care of yourself?
There’s no doubt that boundaries can be challenging to communicate, at times. But they are critical for a sexy balance, between space and time together.
When a guy has no boundaries for himself, he’s also bad with boundaries for the relationship. He won’t safeguard time with his partner, or give her his full attention. And this, of course, creates tension and a lot of unnecessary fighting.
A man with boundaries is hot because he filters out what is not important, to focus on what is!
The only way to trust that boundaries will have a sexy, beneficial effect, is to implement them, bit by bit – and watch what happens.
Block out the time you need. Communicate boundaries around what you desire or don’t desire. Let a woman know what you want to experience with her. Then notice how it affects your connection.