I have an interesting question for you:
Is your lover/partner (truly) your friend?
Would you choose her as a companion or confidant, if you were not a couple or ceased to be a couple?
Would you want her in your life, as a person to track with, grow with — even if there were nothing between you, romantically?
I believe that genuine friendship can be characterized by THREE consistent ways of showing up for someone:
- One, you possess a genuine interest in that person and who they are
- Two, you strive to see the best in them, even when they’re struggling or at their worst.
- Three, you encourage and support their well-being, personal growth and happiness
I think friendship gets lost in romantic relationships, when we’re living with constant conflict and stress. Our partner can feel like an enemy — someone against us, not sympathetic to our needs and wants.
It’s truly being friends (as a practice) that gets us through the toughest of times — in a romantic relationship. Acting as friends, means we really listen to each other, practice gentleness, acceptance, and ongoing support.
How good of a friend are you to your partner, especially during conflict? How good of a friend is your partner to you? Can you see her as doing her best? As a genuinely good soul?
Do you treat your partner with the same consideration, care and respect you do friends? Does she you?
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.
What is a real friend to you?
