Want to know the truth about sexless marriages—from someone who’s spent 24 years coaching the men who live them?
They’re predictable.
When I first started coaching, I thought there was some kind of mystery behind why two people—once so attracted—lost desire for each other. Why their bed turned cold.
But there’s no mystery. There’s a clear path, and most couples walk it straight into the trap.
It starts with this belief:
That good sex is guaranteed in marriage. That love and commitment mean desire should come naturally.
But it doesn’t.
Most also believe sex should be easy, not hard work. But the truth is, very few couples have great sex in long-term relationships. Those beliefs are exactly what pave the way to a sexless existence.
Truth: Great sex is work. Great sex is a commitment. The work is fun—but there are no free rides.
Here’s how the path to a sexless marriage usually goes:
- Desire wanes
- Frequency drops
- Justifications creep in—stress, fatigue, kids, age, time together
- Anger and distancing move in
- Sex stops
To avoid this, we must change what we believe and embrace what is undeniable:
Great sex over the long term belongs to the committed.
The ones who show up through loss of desire, through doubts, through life’s changes.
With love,
Karen
