Have you ever felt like your feminine partner has a kind of “get out of hard conversations free” card—something she plays when things get uncomfortable between you? Especially when you’re seeking clarity about your intimate life?
Maybe she shuts down, goes silent, or offers vague responses like “I don’t know”—and you’re left feeling stuck, like there’s nothing you can do or say.
I tell my clients all the time: It doesn’t have to be this way.
The truth is, your partner only has a no-accountability pass if you hand it to her.
When you’re hesitant to ask for openness or honesty, your partner can feel it. Most people—especially in emotionally charged situations—will default to avoidance unless there’s a clear expectation for something more real and connected.
But when you’re rooted in a commitment to truth and intimacy, you’re not easily brushed off. You become lovingly insistent—grounded, present, and unwilling to settle for less than authentic connection.
I’ve lost count of how many men have told me, “She doesn’t like to talk about feelings, or us, or sex.”
And when I ask, “Do you insist on having those conversations?” the answer is often, “No, I don’t want to come off as pushy or needy…”
But here’s the thing: A high-quality relationship starts with openness and honesty. Without that foundation, where are you really going?
Avoiding discomfort shouldn’t be the reason you avoid the hard stuff. In fact, the very discomfort is often a sign that the conversation matters.
When you take “being uncomfortable” off the table as a reason not to talk, everything changes. The conversations may not get easier, but they do start to happen—and with them comes deeper intimacy, understanding, and love.
Women often say they don’t know what they’re feeling, what they want, or why something’s wrong. And while that can occasionally be true, more often, they just don’t feel safe opening up. They might fear hurting you, or making things worse.
But not talking doesn’t make things better. It only builds walls.
The most loving thing you can do—for yourself and for her—is hold both of you accountable to openness, even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.
A man who stands firm in his commitment to truth, without aggression or withdrawal, is deeply compelling. He’s trustworthy. He’s admirable.
Don’t settle.
With love,
Karen