Women get a lot out of talking. I’m no exception.
Talking, being heard, empathized with, helps us women to release tightly held emotions. It gives us relief, freedom—that is, if the person we’re talking to is safe and offers a safe space.
But talking can get out of hand and it can cost you closeness as lovers, if it becomes the only way that you connect.
If this is you, how can you do more touching and less talking?
I’m going to offer ONE key idea that you can experiment with, and that you can use in a variety of ways…
It’s a powerful one!
When your feminine partner wants to connect (and you know that means talking), or when she says, “can we talk?” say sure…
But then tell her, let’s lie down and talk. I’m happy to listen, but I’ll be more present for you, if we’re horizontal…
Or, sure let’s talk, but put your head in my lap and let me massage your neck. I find I listen better with some kind of physical contact.
You want to make it clear that touching her INCREASES your presence and capacity to hear her. That is not something she’ll want to pass up!
If she’s angry or upset, it’s probably not the best time to introduce any new practice. Hope this helps!
With love,
Karen