Approach her Shamelessly
In my research on what drives couples apart sexually, I’ve discovered that women have a highly-attuned sense of when a man feels confident sexually and when he doesn’t, and it greatly affects her desire for him.
If you’re approaching a woman feeling bad or wrong about wanting sex, she feels that energy. It seems as if you’re hiding something. And in a sense you are, you’re hiding the fact that you want sex because you feel bad and wrong. If you feel bad and wrong how is that going to make her feel? It’s not a compelling sexual space, that’s for sure.
On the other hand, if you let it be ok that you want sex and embrace that you’re a healthy sexual man, there’s a “clean” interaction when you express your desire. She might say ‘no,’ but at least you’ve allowed yourself to express what is real for you and that’s a powerful place to be.
When men try to hide sexual interest, they feel weak and out of integrity. You feel as if you’re trying to coerce her into loving you, and that’s not powerful.
Put your attention instead on wanting her, instead of wanting “sex.” It’s a very different focus. It’s ok to want her, she wants that. A woman wants to be wanted and thrives on it. Want her more than “just sex” and she’ll shift with you. Let her know: “I want you.” And then experience the power of allowing what you want to be ok.
There’s a very big difference in your wanting just pleasure with her, and wanting to devour her. When she can feel the raw energy of your desire for her, she’ll be consumed with the desire to give herself to you!