Your woman isn’t going to tell you this, but if she’s like most women I counsel, she wishes you were a little more aggressive, edgy and even dangerous in bed.
I’m aware that many of you have spent 10, 20 or even 30 years trying to refine the animal impulse you in you.
Thing is, when we wanted men to be less aggressive, it wasn’t in bed. We wanted our emotions respected and tended to. We wanted empathy, tenderness and appreciation. Over time you gave us these experiences. What we didn’t ask was that you become passive and disconnected from your sexual passion. And yet, when that happened we didn’t know what to do.
How do you say to a man, make me yours? Claim my body. Rip my clothes off; take me and fill me? It’s not more sensitivity and more refinement of that perfect stroke that women tell me they crave. It’s a man who’s confident to both please a woman and take what he wants from her — a man who can act powerfully and confidently on his passion.
Instead most men are overly dependent on “directions” and asking permission. Don’t mistake what I’m saying for pushing for more sex and the same old routine. Rather this is about animating that aspect of you that was once guided by what you saw, smelled and felt. Open your eyes, use your nose and your feelings, and let what you feel be a feast.
And please, make some noise.
If you’re like most men that I work with, your habit has been to focus solely on what your woman wants and to close off to your own body. This is only part of the picture. It’s great to tune into her, but you must also tune into the waves of your own passion. Give her a taste of what you feel, by transferring that feeling through sound and touch.
What a woman wants is to know, unequivocally, is that you desire and crave her. Yes, we want you to care and to be sensitive in bed. But we want that balanced off of the Dark Knight energy in you –the man who is unafraid of his passion and where it takes him, who can both crest his own pleasure and direct it into the woman he loves.