If you´re not getting much sex, you’re likely tense, impatient, angry and resentful.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
In fact, that tension is an opportunity.
There’s a lot to explore in sexual tension, both psychological and physical — alone, and with a partner.
A lot of times the psychological tension comes from stories you tell yourself, such as, “This isn’t fair. How can she be so mean? Why do I never get what I need?”
And the physical tension you feel is your body seeking peace, surrender, a moment of transcendence — the way you feel at the moment of orgasm.
You can change the stories you tell yourself to a narrative that is more empowering, such as “What is my opportunity here?” or “How can I give myself what I need?”
I suggest that you meditate, daily, to touch upon the peace, surrender and transcendence you desire.
Being relaxed, not tense, is always a better starting point when it comes to repairing sexual intimacy.
If there is an opportunity to work with your partner, you can look to address the tension, by giving the tension a voice. You want to own what’s going on inside of you that is contributing to the anger, resentment, or withdrawal.
If this has been going on for years for the two of you, it’s a bit more challenging. You’ll need to find new pathways around the old barriers.
I’ll be leading a group coaching program this October that will explore sexual repair, in depth, along with essential skills for how to be a confident lover.
It will be a group that is highly focused and interested in deep transformation.
If you’re interested, get in touch and I’ll get back to you with more information.