If you get challenged every time you try to take your partner somewhere, whether that´s to dinner or on an epic trip, it gets tiring.
Last post I talked about how this destroys a guy´s confidence over time. That article is HERE if you missed it…
Confession: I´ve been the woman who takes leaders down!
Why, you might wonder, was I resistant to letting certain partners lead? Because most of the time when I asserted myself or challenged their choices, they relented!
And because they relented, I got the message/feeling that they didn´t believe in what they were trying to do, whatever that was. And, since they didn´t believe in what they were wanting to do, it was probably best that I led, because I did!
Honestly, it was disappointing that they gave in so easily. I wanted them to stand up to me with confidence and enthusiasm, and make it clear that what they had planned was actually great
Women do these kinds of check-ins with you because they´re like safety inspectors. They want to know: are you sure this is a good choice? Are you sure it´s the best one? This is how they think for themselves, when making their own choices.
But what do you do if she never wants to follow your lead, no matter how you respond to her safety checks— even when you answer questions, thoroughly, reassure her about concerns, and speak to her desires?
Well, I suggest you try turning things around. You can ask her if she´d prefer to lead for the day, evening, date. Tell her this means that she decides absolutely everything, and takes responsibility for the two of you having a good time. It might mean her opening the door for you and paying, if you usually pay.
Of course, be playful when you say all of this!
She´ll likely think this funny and it will lighten things up. It´s a good way for you to demonstrate that having YOU lead is an opportunity and a gift.
This is different than relenting to her choice and giving in. You´re actually making it clear that leading is a role and that she might be missing that.
A woman who backseat leads you doesn´t actually want to lead. She just wants you to be a stronger lead that she can get behind.
Turning things around will demonstrate such strength and cause her to stop sabotaging your lead!