How Do Men Love?

Men are designed to want to do good things in the world. When you love a woman, you take that energy to do good and to make a difference, and apply it to that woman.  That good is expressed in the way of getting things done — fixing things, putting things into motion and solving problems — essentially striving to make a woman’s life easier. You’re happy to shoulder some of your partner’s burdens, as it makes you feel useful and effective.  It’s your way of saying: You matter to me.

Men love through their dedication (to a project). If they are dedicated to woman, she is that “project,” and you will keep delivering good things her way, as long as you feel that it provides sufficient return in the way of making her happy and creating good feelings between you.

Women often misunderstand this method of love from men, and interpret it to mean that you’re only interested in fixing things and being expedient concerning feelings and needs. She can interpret your desire to solve problems and move on, as a way to avoiding truly being with her.

If a man is in pain, or suffering through a bout of self-doubt, a woman wants to embrace him and impart to him: You are loved. You are accepted. I see you. Sometimes you might welcome this kind of feminine nurturing, but mostly, I imagine, not. Mostly you want to get into action and solve the problem, and pull the “dagger” out of your gut.  A woman wants that reassurance when she’s feeling lost and hurt, so naturally it’s what she offers to you.

While there are times that a man may be good at nurturing a woman rather than moving into action to help, taking action is his most effective and succinct way to say, “You matter to me and I love you.”

We love this about men, even though at times, we long for the soothing words that require no action at all.

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