I get a lot of notes from guys mentioning how I talk about what men should be doing for their partners, but that I don’t talk about what their partners should be doing for them.
There’s a good reason for this: My work is for and about men.
However, today, let’s look at one KEY thing that’s healthy for a man to expect from a woman… and I think it’s an important one.
You may have noticed that women are more often disappointed in relationships than men. I believe this is because our romantic hopes for relationships are big.
Relationships tend to be the centerpiece of our lives, as women, and getting them right feels critical.
This is why you’ll hear women complain more about what isn’t working or what’s missing, than men.
Given this and accepting that women can be this way, I think it’s healthy to expect that a woman be able to express her disappointment, lovingly and gently, rather than harshly, even when she’s hurt or unhappy.
It might sound like this:
“Hey, I’m disappointed that you didn’t make plans for my birthday, but I also realize that I should have let you know that I wanted that.“
There’s a maturity in being able to feel let down and not get harsh and pointed in response. There’s a maturity in realizing that you’re not the only thing on your man’s mind, and that he can’t always get it right.
Sometimes a woman gets hard and pointed, because she’s telling herself that you don’t care, and she’s hurt. You can reassure her that you do care, and that you just need guidance, now and them, to understand her hopes — and sometimes, more than once.