Most guys seem to think that the best way to open a woman is to do things for her.

Men are doers. When they love a woman, they take action on her behalf. This, for them, is proof of love.

While doing things for a woman is great and important, it’s often not what opens her emotionally and sexually.

What opens her emotionally and sexually are the subtle masculine gifts that most men tend to overlook and underestimate.

The first and most important of these is PRESENCE.

Presence cannot be measured but it can be felt. You can trust that a woman knows when you are there with her wholeheartedly and undistracted.

It takes awareness to be present, and it cannot be faked. Nothing says “I want to be with you” like presence.

The next subtle gift is positive ATTENTION. Positive ATTENTION is about being open to her and looking for the best in her. You always have a choice as to what you look for, and when you look for the good, trust that it’s felt.

Presence and positive attention make for a potent cocktail that can cause a woman to drop her guard and unfold to you.

The third subtle gift is INTEREST. You can put up with a woman, and labor to offer presence and attention. But true interest in her is hard to phone in. Interest means you are curious to discover her. You want to understand her feelings and experiences. Your questions invite her to open herself to you, to share her world with you.​​​​​​​

Doing things is a beautiful way to demonstrate your love. However, creating openness in a woman can be very specific, very much tied to her feeling seen and heard by you. It’s like how nothing can substitute for your being touched by her – not her great meals or words of affirmation. You appreciate those offerings, but they are not touch.

The most powerful way to practice presence is to be with her, breath by breath. You can’t slip away with this kind of intentional focus.

Then, train your attention and your interest to come from your heart, where there is no judgment and no expectation.

I welcome your experiences and input on this. Just send me an email at karen@karenbrodycoaching.com and I will respond to you!

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