3 Things I Wish Women Knew about Men: Part 2 of 3

There’s nothing quite like the support of a good man.

When he takes things off your plate and puts things into forward motion, you not only feel loved, you feel wind beneath your feet.

His support can make you feel high and totally delighted to be in love with a masculine man.

Men also have a need for support  but it’s often overlooked or misunderstood by women  because it takes on an entirely different form…

A man doesn’t need his partner to take out the trash, hang a picture, or run errands for him to feel supported, he needs something that makes him feel more like the man he is.

He needs to feel that his partner is on his team.

What this means is…

  • You’re not working at cross purposes with him
  • You’re building him up more than breaking him down
  • You believe in him no matter what he’s going through

But us women, being women, try to give men the forms of support we crave. We give them the sad eyes that say “Poor baby,” probe for their feelings, or push them to process their problems  out loud. But, unfortunately, this only serves to make a man feel emasculated, like he’s being mothered rather than supported.

What he wants, instead, is to know that you’ve got his back.

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Think teammate. A teammate believes in your capability and power, even though you’re going through a rough patch. He trusts that you’ll get through whatever it is and doesn’t dare jump in to try and interfere or fix it. He gives you that certain look and pat on the back that says, “You’ve got this, buddy. I know you’ll pull through it and figure it out.”

You feel the power of his support without him trying to take you on or bear your weight.

A teammate also recognizes that you might need some time alone to work out the problem  and it doesn’t reflect on the friendship.

This hands-off approach is not easy for a woman, who wants something far more hands-on when she’s under stress or walking through a criss.

But it is truly more aligned with what makes a man feel good and genuinely supported.

The good news is… you don’t have to wait until there’s a crisis to express support. Your support can take on an active role ongoing.

Supporting a man and making him feel you’re on his team can also look like this:

  1. Checking in on his day in an authentic way
  2. Making specific time to connect and to express affection — even if you have children
  3. Letting him know how much his efforts affect your life positively

These subtle forms of support bolster a man and make him feel unstoppable. And they cause him to trust that he can come to you with anything.