First I want to say there is no shame in having needs. What’s not healthy is pretending that you don’t.  

Men who are “needy,” believe they aren’t allowed to have needs – and so they hide them, hoping their partners will be merciful and generous.  

This rarely works, because it’s incumbent on each of us souls, to know what we need and to stand for those needs. This is the essence of loving oneself.

Men who are chronically needy don’t believe themselves worthy of love, so they work for love, jumping through all kinds of hoops. This pushes a woman away, because she feels a constant pressure to give her man something in return. 

Needy men can’t relax, and make their partners tense, because they’re so busy angling for attention and love.

When you aren’t in alignment with your own needs, and aren’t your own best caretaker, you feel empty and needy all the time, dependent on your partner to make you whole.

I love helping men know that having needs is not shameful and that communicating those needs is healthy and inspires a woman to give to you.

My clients often tell me “I’ve tried telling her what I need, and she doesn’t care.” Usually, this isn’t true. Often, when a woman doesn’t respond, positively, to a man communicating his needs, it’s because instead of speaking his needs from power, he complains or shames her, or sounds like he’s wishing.

I believe that sacrificing and manipulating to get your relationship needs met, runs counter to spiritual truth, and it’s why such strategies don’t work.

People who get their needs met, see the good in their needs and courageously, give voice to them.

Is this easy? Not always. But it’s the only way that works.

I’d love to hear your thoughts if you’d like to comment below

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