It’s understandable that so many readers of Open Her are most drawn to The Director and The Dark Knight archetypes. They appear to be the most masculine. In fact, my clients often hire me to learn how to properly embody these two types. 

While these two types are certainly compelling in every way, I’d like to give some attention here to The Artist archetype. In my mind, this type is the most seductive, and any man who wants a hot sex life should learn to embody his gifts and powers. 

While The Director is impressive in his capacity to lead and make things happen, and the Dark Knight can take a woman to edges that leave her breathless, The Artist holds the power to unveil a woman like no other. 

For those of you who haven’t read my book or don’t remember The Artist, he’s the archetype that sees a woman most deeply with his curious, penetrating gaze. He awakens the sleeping feminine essence in a woman, with his capacity to see far more of her then is playing at the surface. Women have always been drawn to painters and photographers for this very reason. To have a man reveal something of you and your beauty to the world (that is even new to you, as a woman) is a common feminine fantasy. 

Sometimes it’s challenging for men to fully comprehend this feminine craving to be seen and unveiled to the world. What’s easier than understanding this mysterious feminine desire, is to develop your skill for delivering it as a masculine gift. 

What does it feel like to her to be seen by you in this way? Essentially, it feels like being made love to! She is both filled (with appreciation), and penetrated (with attention). For the feminine, this is a form of physical ecstasy.

A great photographer or painter can also unveil a woman, if he has the right kind of gaze. It’s not the camera that awakens a woman’s essence, but the seer. 

I’ve been that seer for women in my past, when I was playing with figure photography. What I’d do is simply look for what was most beautiful in the woman in front of me — that  I sensed yearned to be called out.  If you look with this intention, her hidden aspects often come to the surface and dance before your eyes. 

Sometimes, I called forth a woman’s dominance or her submissiveness, depending on what I felt surfacing.  Sometimes I unveiled little girls, hidden behind authoritative women. Sometimes by handing a woman a prop of a certain variety, she’d open to me in a whole different and surprising way. 

When you look at a woman with an artist’s discerning eye, you’re looking for the aspects of her that long for expression. Is it her hidden seductress, benevolent queen, or inner healer?

I think when most guys read about The Artist archetype, they see him and his gifts as one of those lightweight good guy challenges: “Tell her she’s beautiful, make her feel special, yada yada.” 

No, this is not it!

The opportunity here is to give your partner a gift she cannot give herself. She can pay her own bills, hire a bodyguard, a handyman and a mechanic. She can’t see herself in the penetrating way you can. She just can’t. 

Become an observer. The observer wants to discover, not label. When you are genuinely delighted and fascinated with your interaction with a woman, she becomes more of herself before your eyes. You will then understand how to transfer this powerful skill into lovemaking. 

You know you’re onto something, when the woman in front of you literally becomes luminescent. Or,  when she reaches deeply into herself to tell you things she’s never told anyone.  If she is softening as you gaze at her, your gift is working. 

To read more about the archetypes, and see which one most describes your masculine gifts, get a copy of Open Her, here.

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