I’ve worked with hundreds of men who have what I call, Obsessive Sexual Energy.
It’s an energy that destroys a man’s sex life if he doesn’t get hold of it.
What’s crazy is that Obsessive Sexual Energy or (OSE) is not even about sex!
It’s about the obsessive need for validation.
Obsessive Sexual Energy seeks to feel, “I’m ok. I’m safe. I’m loved.”
When my OSE clients secure sex, it means they have value or that they’re loved — at least for the moment. And If they don’t get sex, obsessive thinking and behaviors ensue.
Now, let’s make a distinction here…there is a difference between wanting more sex and pursuing it, and being obsessive about it.
Wanting more sex is healthy. Wanting more of what we enjoy is human nature. Being obsessive about sex, though, is needing sex to feel OK about oneself, or psychologically balanced.
Naturally this is not attractive for a woman. She’s faced with a constant pressure to fill a hole she can’t fill.
The men who express this obsessive energy, in my practice, almost always felt not masculine enough as boys, and unequipped to engage with girls or seduce them. And although they’re now married, they live with a nagging sense that they missed the sex boat. Not only did girls not want them, as boys, now it seems their wives don’t either.
I help men overcome this wounding, and transform it into a grounded, confident, sexual presence and leadership.
You don’t need 50 lovers to develop this confidence, or to rewind the clock to High School.
What you need to learn is to stop equating getting sex with your value.
If I can help, reach out to me for a consultation to see if coaching is a fit for you.
I also recommend my Home-study Course, Restoring the Sword, which will help you establish your sexual dignity and “ground,” and overcome these obsessive behaviors, for good!