My clients tell me that sex holds the key to practically everything for them — to acceptance, belonging, love and happiness.

And while I agree that sex is life-giving and powerfully healing, I think that the intense focus on sex can point to an even deeper need being overlooked.

That need, I believe, is a need to connect to the feminine, or Earth.

When a guy is intently focused on work, perhaps to support his partner and his family, he can become disconnected from the feminine, from nature. He can feel drained, tired and hopeless from too much focus on doing.

In these moments, having sex with a woman can feel like water on parched earth. He’s revitalized and feels like himself again, at least for the moment.

The problem with this cycle of getting empty and seeking out a woman for energy, through sex, is that you become dependent on her to connect you to life. This can feel needy and bothersome for her, like she’s being used as a battery-charging station.

If your woman is also disconnected, and has a low charge, herself, the sex between the two of you will not be life-giving or restorative, but instead feel empty and disheartening, and further make you needy of the feminine.

My suggestion to you, if you’re caught in this cycle, is to find ways to connect to the feminine, separate of a woman. Get out in nature and drink it in. If you have a motorcycle, get on it. Take long treks; say yes to journeys that inspire you.

You don’t need a woman or other women to be filled by the feminine.

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Of course, there is nothing like penetrating a woman and what that does for your being, but you don’t want to be an empty battery needing her to charge you up, so that you can go on.

You are gifted with a powerful urge to both procreate, and open a woman. But sometimes, what that sexual impulse might be calling you to do is to feel the wind at your back, the Earth under your feet, or the adventure in your mind.

Does this resonate for you?

Simply send me an email! I answer my mail, personally.

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