You’ve been told a million times, in a million ways, that you should love yourself. Right?
But do you?
If you’re like most of us you’d say: No, but I know I should.
It’s not that you don’t want to love yourself. It’s that thinking about it never really gets you to that promised land.
Some of us try to catapult ourselves there by indulging in things that make us feel special or important: electronics, cars, fancy getaways and big homes. We tell ourselves, “If I treat myself big, it’s proof that I love myself. Look at what I did for me!”
But then, why does all that indulging and staging, ultimately feel so unlike real self-love – so empty, if we’re honest?
Maybe because what feels good, isn’t what fills us with love.
When my clients indulge in great wine, food and amazing experiences, there is a momentary satisfaction – for sure. Life is here to be tasted.
But, it’s when they tend to what makes them grow as men and as human beings, they actually start to feel and understand what self-love is about. This might mean tending to their physical strength, mental focus, inner stillness, or their hearts…
In other words, they don’t set out on a mission to love themselves, they set out to develop and nurture their inner strengths and their spirits, and out of that comes self-love.
Another way to define this tending to our ourselves is self-discipline. Self-discipline can take on many forms – depending on what grows you, personally, as a human being. It might be karate, mediation, lifting weights, writing, sculpting or building houses. What’s important is that it consistently tends to your development as a physical and spiritual being.
I can indulge with the best of them — but if I’m honest, it’s not those pleasurable indulgences that grow my humanness and awaken my spirit, but having consistent time to write and to create content that helps others — or other similarly spirit-evoking activities.
What discipline grows you when you tend to it, consistently? What is that action you take for yourself, that blows you open, quiets and calms you, or drives you forward, in all the right ways?
It’s no mistake that we push ourselves to be disciplined – because we think we should or that it’s good for us. But I sense we may be overlooking self-discipline as a rich and meaningful path for knowing and growing our self-love.
There are many paths to love. This one stuck me as particularly sweet, in that it’s not so obvious.
I’d love your thoughts and feelings on this.