In my last post, I talked about how to use a safe zone to restore touch when your partner avoids it. Have you tried this yet?
If you missed that piece, it’s here….
Let’s take this a little further and look at “zoning” in a larger context to improve your love life.
“Zones” are about creating meaningful boundaries — that filter out what you don’t want, and welcome what you do.
I hear from clients that they have no time or space with their partners free of cell phones or laptops. Every night they’re competing with Instagram or Netflix, for attention.
Rather than continuing to complain about this, I suggest you designate your bedroom a device-free zone. You can pick a date in a not too distant future, to implement this, together.
When you go to any kind of temple, you don’t pull out your devices because it’s a sacred space. Your bedroom can be a sacred space too, if you decide it is. You can inspire calm reflection, mediation and practices for closeness, every night, by restricting what comes in.
I also suggest you create an argument-free zone in your home. I know a couple who made it the garage. They can talk about anything there and know it won’t escalate, because of their vow to not to fight in that space.
The most sacred zone to consider for yourselves is the lovemaking zone. This is a space designated specifically for the magic — that is unspoiled by other energies.
Imagine a little temple that transforms each of you, as you enter it, where nothing but love is shared.
Unfortunately, for most couples, the bedroom has become a mess of energies, from devices, work, worry, fights, and patterns of physical avoidance. By creating a zone that is free of all of that, you brilliantly give life to what you really want and what’s sacred to you.
I suggest you take stock of what you most want in your relationship, then get to zoning!