Men often ask me to tell them more about how to make a woman feel seen.

Why? Because they hear from their partners: “You don’t see me,” even though they’re pretty certain that they do.

What their partners are saying, actually, is: You don’t see me the way I see myself.

Meaning: you don’t see me clearly.

So, I’m always on the lookout for great examples of a man truly seeing a woman, (in the way she hopes to be seen) and the one I’m about to share with you, came up while reading a book called Beach Read.

And as I said, it made me cry, it was so beautiful!

Beach Read is a love story, about two writers, January and Gus – who are old, High School sweethearts, reunited.

There’s an interesting tension between them because he’s a serious investigative-writer type, and she’s a romance novelist.

She often feels that he’s, quietly, making fun of her saccharine view of the world, and not saying so.

But then one day he says something that contradicts that, entirely. Something that gives her the I SEE YOU ORGASM of a lifetime!

Gus says, to January, “When you love someone, you want to make this world look different for them. To give all the ugly stuff meaning, and amplify the good…

“That’s what you do, January. For your readers. For me. You make beautiful things, because you love the world, and maybe the world doesn’t always look how it does in your books, but… I think putting them out there, that changes the world a little bit. And the world can’t afford to lose that.“

He absolutely nails it. Not because he’s trying to say the right thing, but because he sees her and conveys that. He sees the motivation behind why she’s a romance writer and why what she does matters in the world.

You too can really see a woman, when you want to really see her, when you choose to set aside assumptions about her, and judgments, and look at who she really is.

Hope this helps!

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