What All of You Told Me about Respect

Last week I asked you to give me examples of how you know you’re respected by a woman by way of what she says or does…

If you missed it, here is that short article for you to check out.

My hope is for all of you to benefit from what I heard in the feedback, so I took all the responses I got, around 150, and put them into top categories.

I imagine that hearing what other men have to say about this will help you better understand your own needs for respect and feel better about standing for them.


The NUMBER ONE way men feel/hear respect from a woman, surprised me! I love to be surprised…


“She’s genuinely interested in what I have to say and I can see that in her face.”

“That she lets me finish my sentences. That she asks genuine questions, and has a desire to understand me. “

“Little things like saying your name when she wants to talk to you about something…taking the time to really get your attention rather than just kind of sloppily saying stuff out of nowhere. Making eye contact with me.”

“She asks caring questions with a desire to get me. “


Respect is… trying to understand your husband’s point of view even when you completely disagree with it. “

“I feel respected when who I am and what I think and do have impact and meaning with her.  She may disagree with me, after she has thoughtfully considered what I think.  She may find fault with me, after she has known and felt the weight of me.  To be respected is not that she oriented her life around mine, but for her to honor and cherish the influence and impact that my life has on her.”

“I feel respected when she talks to me in a loving tone, even when she’s angry with me. “

SHE VALUES YOUR PURPOSE AND VISION (even if she doesn’t always AGREE with it) #3

“When my partner does not trust my vision (and purpose behind it), or when I cannot communicate my vision to my partner, I feel incredibly frustrated. It’s because my vision and purpose is such a core part of who I am, that when my partner cannot see this or cannot trust it, I feel almost no value to her. “

“The gist of it is that nothing is more important to a man than
knowing that he’s doing a good job taking care of “his” woman and family.

A man needs respect for his competence in this area. When his female partner explodes with judgmental statements, then, just as if a bomb had gone off and temporarily muffled his hearing, he needs to get away from her because he is no longer in a safe space. His self-image as a caring, trustworthy partner is threatened.”

“One of the most powerful feelings of respect shows up for me when I’ve accomplished (or even just attempted) something that was difficult or challenging (could be physically, emotionally, mentally), and the effort/dedication/integrity around that is seen, valued, and reflected back to me. “


CONSIDERS YOUR INPUT (on plans, and decisions of import)

A lot of guys were pissed that they get roped into things that they didn’t agree to and weren’t asked their opinion on, regularly…

“I feel totally disrespected when my partner makes plans for the family or to hang out with friends without asking me, then gets defensive when I get upset. “

“Respect is asking me what I think about decisions that affect out kids, and assuming I have something of value to say about it. “

“If we’re going to spend a bunch of money on a gardener, don’t assume I’m good with that. Ask me what I think and in doing so you get me involved instead of angry. “


This one was said in many different ways.

Essentially men don’t like feeling they’re being toyed with.

They are direct by nature and feel respected when a woman is honest and upfront about what she wants and feels.“She is honest with me, and transparent. I don’t like finding hidden motives out later. “

“She doesn’t punish me with the silent treatment. She maturely tells me what is going on for her and what she needs from me. That is the ultimate form of respect. “

“When she’s open with me, and soft, I trust her and I feel respected by her.“

Those were the big categories.

Others included these:

  • Respecting your things, such as your razor or other cherished possessions
  • Trusting what you are about and saying so
  • Meeting you where you’re at emotionally and being accepting
  • Thanking you for the little things on a regular basis
  • Assuming you mean well, even when you mess up!

I couldn’t list everything here, but you can trust these are the key points shared with me.

I thank you so much for participating. I learned something and I’m grateful for that!

I’m open to more feedback! Just send me an email as I answer my email personally.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *