My clients often tell me that their partners no longer want to kiss and that this makes them very sad.

And yet, they are often still having intercourse….

When they ask their partners why the kissing has stopped, they often say, “I just don’t like to kiss.”

Don’t like to kiss? I find this hard to believe!

The only way that this can be true is if she never wanted to kiss from the start.

And if that were true, I don’t imagine you’d be with her today.

That said, I imagine that this no-kissing issue likely developed some time into your being together – not overnight.

So, why would this happen? And what can you do about it?

I think there can be a variety of reasons for a woman to refuse kissing, but I’d like to address two that I feel are significant.

One is that when a couple is hiding thoughts and feelings from each other, and not being open or honest, they actually can’t kiss, at least not deeply.

To kiss deeply, you have to trust one another and be open to each other’s hearts.

A woman can do intercourse, though, because she can check out — something she can’t do while mouth-to-mouth with you, extremely near to your gaze.

Another reason she might “not like to kiss,” is that you don’t kiss well together. Something about how it happens turns her off, or fails to turn her on.

In this case, you can ask her to kiss you while you’re totally passive – and let her show you what a deep, passionate kiss feels like to her. Then record what she does, mentally, so that you can replicate the way she likes to kiss.

If the reason for no kissing is a lack of trust or openness, you might ask her: what’s between us that gets in the way of you being able to kiss me as you used to?

Insist on knowing what it is, and ensure it’s safe for her to tell you. You might have to be quite insistent for her to reveal herself to you.

When there are no dark secrets, resentments or unfinished emotional business, it’s just a whole lot more natural and pleasurable to kiss each other and enjoy it.

Tell me your story and the kinds of reasons that you’ve heard for the no-kissing order. I’ll consider them for upcoming pieces on the topic.

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